Presumptions

There is a legend of a woman who had a faithful dog. This dog was so faithful that the woman could leave her baby with it and go out to attend other matters. She always returned to find the child soundly asleep with the dog faithfully watching over him...
One day something tragic happened. The woman as usual, left the baby in the "hands" of this faithful dog and went out shopping. When she returned, she discovered rather a nasty scene. There was a total mess. The baby's cot was dismantled and his nappies and clothes torn to shreds with bloodstains all over the bedroom where she had left the child and the dog.

Shocked, the woman wailed as she began looking for the baby. Presently, she saw the faithful dog emerging from the under the bed. It was covered with blood and licking its mouth as it had just finished a delicious meal.

The woman went berserk and assumed that the dog had devoured her baby.
Without much thought she clubbed the dog to death. But as she continued searching for the "remains" of her child, she beheld another scene.
Close to the bed was the baby who, although lying on bare floor, was safe. And under the bed the carcass of a jackal torn to pieces in what must have been a fierce battle between it and the dog which was now dead.

Then the reality hit the woman who now began to understand what took place in her absence. The dog fought to protect the baby from the ravenous jackal. It was too late for her now to make amends because in her impatience and anger, she had killed the faithful dog.

A dog deserving praise and adoration that fought to save the life of her dear beloved child received death in return.

How often have we misjudged people and torn them to shreds with harsh words and even with physical assault before we have had time to evaluate the situation? It is called the sin of presumption. Presuming things are one way without taking the trouble to find out exactly what the situation really is. A little patience can drastically reduce major life long errors.

Maha Kumbhabhishekam, Kopisan Gopeng

Maha Kumbhabhishekam ( Consecrate of new Temple or Reconsecrate an Old one)

The event took place on 12th Dec 2010, pouring sanctified water over the temple spires (time 10.15am till 11.15am. for none days inaugural puja was held in the newly constructed yagasala ( a place of fire worship). After the Maha Kumbhabhishekam there will be 48 days of Mandala Abhishekam.

Ignorance of ability brings disability

Nice Video worth watching

Success Through Recognizing Failure

In the U.S. education system the goal is to leave no one behind. As a result a great many graduates have never been allowed to fail. This isn't because they are actually skilled or talented. It is because the system doesn't allow for failure. Without having a chance to fail, these students are deprived of one of the most powerful ways of learning. Without having a chance to fail, students are taught to avoid failure which means they avoid risk. Teaching students to avoid risk teaches them to avoid the very thing that can make them successful later on in life.

As a result many adults don't know how to react to failure in their own life. They have learned from a young age to avoid failure and to try to ignore it when it occurs. They have learned that failure can just be swept aside and not dealt with or reflected upon. Recognizing failure is one of the best ways to grow. If you ignore your failures, it is unlikely that you will ever be able to develop the skills necessary to make up for your deficiencies.

By recognizing your failures, you are better able to understand yourself. Also by treating each and every failure as a learning experience, you can make failure a positive experience. This doesn't mean that you will want to fail, but by turning failure into something good, you can reduce the pain of failure.

Since many individuals avoid action because they are afraid of failure, taking steps toward minimizing your fear of failure can give you an advantage over others who have not learned to benefit from their mistakes. Fear of failure is one of the biggest reasons people don't strive for greatness. By recognizing that failure is just part of the learning process, individuals can overcome one of the biggest roadblocks to success.

Risk is a natural part of success. Risk doesn't mean doing something stupid. Risk means attempting something that stretches you beyond what you know you can succeed at. This type of risk helps you to grow. By developing a healthy attitude toward failure, the fear of risk is lowered which encourages people to attempt things that will contribute to their success.

Take the time to recognize all of your failures. Don't simply gloss over them. Take the time to reflect on what went wrong and how you could have handled the situation differently. By doing this you will be able to grow in a way that many individuals avoid. This growth can set you apart from the average person and turn your failures into successes in the future. Failures are inevitable, but you have a choice on what you do with the failure. You can let it destroy you or use it as a springboard to make yourself stronger than before.

Winner vs Loser

The Winner is always part of the answer;
The Loser is always part of the problem.

The Winner always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse.

The Winner says, "Let me do it for you";
The Loser says, "That is not my job."

The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem for every answer.

The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it is possible";
The Loser says, "It may be possible but it is too difficult."

When a Winner makes a mistake, he says, "I was wrong";
When a Loser makes a mistake, he says, "It wasn't my fault."

A Winner makes commitments;
A Loser makes promises.

Winners have dreams;
Losers have schemes.

Winners say, "I must do something";
Losers say, "Something must be done."

Winners are a part of the team;
Losers are apart from the team.

Winners see the gain;
Losers see the pain.

Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems.

Winners believe in win-win;
Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.

Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past.

Winners are like a thermostat;
Losers are like thermometers.

Winners choose what they say;
Losers say what they choose.

Winners use hard arguments but soft words;
Losers use soft arguments but hard words.

Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things;
Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.

Winners follow the philosophy of empathy: "Don't do to others what you would not want them to do to you";
Losers follow the philosophy, "Do it to others before they do it to you."

Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.

Winners plan and prepare to win.The key word is preparation.

Forgiveness

Here is a wonderful story that I would like to share with you


A teacher once told each of her students to bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to school. For every person they refuse to forgive in their life's experience, they chose a potato, wrote on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag. Some of their bags were quite heavy.


They were then told to carry this bag with them everywhere for one week, putting it beside their bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to their desk at work.


The hassle of lugging this around with them made it clear what a weight they were carrying spiritually, and how they had to pay attention to it all the time to not forget and keep leaving it in embarrassing places. Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty smelly slime.


This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for keeping our pain and heavy negativity! Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, and it clearly is for ourselves!


I know that it may be hard to forgive but as Isabelle Holland rightly said:"As long as you don't forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy rent-free space in your mind."


We cannot avoid daily resentment and thoughts of guilt. They are a part of human nature. What we can do is release their grip on us. We can forgive others and ourselves daily.

STRESS

STRESS


A lecturer was giving a lecture to his students on stress management. He raises a glass of water and asks the audience "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?" "It depends on how long you hold it."


"If I hold it for a minute, it is Ok."

"If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm."

"If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance."

"It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes"


If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier. "What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while > before holding it up again."


We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on. When you return home from work, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it into your home. You can pick it up tomorrow.So Rest and Relax ...

Strength of a man

The strength of a man isn't in how many women he's loved.
It's in whether he can be true to the ONE woman he's trying to love.
The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders. It's seen in the width of his arms that encircle and protect you.



The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It is in the gentle words he whispers.
The strength of a man isn't in the words he speaks. It's in how he keeps his word.



The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.
It's in how tender he touches.
The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift. It's in the burdens he can carry.



The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest.
It's in his heart that lies within his chest.
The strength of a man isn't in how he makes love. It's in the understanding that there is more to making love, than making love

ATTITUDE

This is attitude
IF AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE..A LIFE ENDS.
IF AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN...... .LIFE BEGINS.
GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM WITHIN .

This is attitude
IT'S BETTER TO LOSE YOUR EGO TO THE ONE YOU LOVE. THAN TO LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE ....... BECAUSE OF EGO
It's better to lose your pride to the one you Love, than to lose the one you Love because of pride.
We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love when instead we shouldbe perfecting the Love we give

This is attitude
WHY WE HAVE SO MANY TEMPLES, IF GOD IS EVERYWHERE ?
A WISE MAN SAID : AIR IS EVERYWHERE, BUT WE STILL NEED A FAN TO FEEL IT .

WHEN YOU TRUST SOMEONE TRUST HIM COMPLETELY WITHOUT ANY DOUBT....... AT THE END YOU WOULD GET ONE OF THE TWO :
EITHER A LESSON FOR YOUR LIFE OR A VERY GOOD PERSON

LIFE IS NOT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ACT TRUE TO YOUR FACE ........
IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO REMAIN TRUE BEHIND YOUR BACK

This is attitude
SOLDIER : SIR WE ARE SURROUNDED FROM ALL SIDES BY ENEMIES ,
MAJOR : EXCELLENT ! WE CAN ATTACK IN ANY DIRECTION.

This is attitude
THE WORST IN LIFE IS "ATTACHMENT " IT HURTS WHEN YOU LOSE IT. THE BEST THING IN LIFE IS " LONELINESS " BECAUSE IT TEACHES YOU EVERYTHING AND, WHEN YOU LOSE IT, YOU GET EVERYTHING.

"You never conquer a mountain. You stand on the summit a few moments; then the wind blows your footprints away." -Arlene Blum

This is attitude
“I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.”
Chinese proverb

“The greatest waste in the world is the difference between what we are and what we could become.” Ben Herbste

Remember the 5 simple rules to Happy
1. Free your Heart from Hated
2. Free your Mind from worries
3. Live simply
4. Give More
5. Expect less

No One can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
God didn’t promise days without pain, Laughter without sorrow, sun without rain but He did promise strength for the day comfort for the tears and light for the way ,

Disappointments are like Road Humps,
they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth ride afterwards.
Don’t stay on the Humps too long. Move on

When you feel down because you didn't get what you want
just sit tight and be Happy because GOD is thinking of something better

When something happens to you good or bad what it means. There’s a purpose to life’s events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard

You can’t make some love you all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth

The measure of love is when you love without measure. In life there are very rare chances that you’ll meet the person you love and loves you in return.
So once you have it don’t ever let go, the chance might never come your way again

When you truly care for someone you don’t look for fault, you don’t look for answers, you don’t look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults and you overlook the excuse.

Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his place/ Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grow older,

PERCEPTION

PERCEPTION

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. Thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

















4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.

The questions raised:
*In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?
*Do we stop to appreciate it?
*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made. How many other things are we missing

Effectiveness

Effectiveness !

A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure out how to fix the engine.

Then they brought in an old man in his eighties who had been fixing ships since he was a young man. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully from top to bottom.

Two of the ship's owners were there watching this man and hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!

A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for $ 10 000.

"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!

"So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill".

The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer...... ......... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap......... . ......... $ 9,998.00

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference!

OUM Graduation - MMC Masters

Graduation - MMC Masters

Katti Thangam_0002.wmv

1 Malaysia Batu Caves Canival PM's visit.wmv

Gossip

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test.
It's called the Triple Filter Test."'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say.

The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true? No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it.

All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not.

Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness.
Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?
No, on the contrary...So," Socrates continued,
"You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued,
"You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?

No, not really. Well, concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was shagging his wife.

Confort Zone

My Comfort Zone

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn't fail.
The same four walls and busywork were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I'd never done before,

But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.I said it didn't matter that I wasn't doing much.
I said I didn't care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn't let my life go by just watching others win.
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you're in a comfort zone,
afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.

Reach for your future with a smile; success is there for you!
So move out of your comfort zone and embrace success!!!

Identify Your Uniqueness To Attract Success

To get ahead and win this game we call life, you need to know what is unique about you. As individuals we're all unique and when you're able to identify and tap into this fully, instead of struggling, you'll attract the success you want. It's a simple enough step but not necessarily easy to accomplish. One reason for this is that the things that are unique about us we take for granted and are a natural part of who we are and what we do.

In a coversation last week; I was speaking with a friend about strategic marketing and discussing some books we'd both been reading. She mentioned that there seemed to be something missing in what she'd read and after further conversation, I shared what I thought was missing. There needs to be consistent inspired actions to integrate your ideal client profile into all that you are and do. Her response shocked me: "Yes, but most people don't get this the way you do." Silence. Thoughts raced through my mind: "But they must know this", "I'm not an expert marketer so who am I to say this." In the silence that followed, I naturally shifted from my head to my heart and realised this was something I just took for granted, yet could possibly be something that was unique to me.

Identifying what's unique about you can be done initially by spending some time exploring this in writing and by having conversations with people you trust. However, some of the best insights into your uniqueness will come if you are open to seeing them. You need to be with the idea of identifying your uniqueness and realising that these opportunities may come when you least expect them. I'd previously written down what I thought was unique about me, yet this recent insight was one of the most powerful I'd ever had.

Identifying your uniqueness is an ongoing process and will impact your vision, mission and purpose. The process may also reveal some new products or services you want to offer. If you work in an organisation, it's a heart-centred way of standing out from the crowd and letting your light shine forth. When you're focusing on marketing your business it will help you to identify the work you're most drawn to doing and the people you most want to work with.

I invite you to write down first what you see as unique about you. Remember this will include things that are a natural part of who you are and things you take for granted which others perhaps don't easily realise. Then ask some people you trust and respect for their feedback. Ultimately, choose to be with the process of identifying your uniqueness so that you can be aware of any new insights. These new insights may be the most powerful you've ever had.

ADVERSITY

How do you handle adversity?

I would like to share an awesome story with you.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.' 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting.

However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when thingsare at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level?

So my dearest friends, how do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Have an awesome day!!!

More

Birth of a Dream!
"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve."

Would you agree with the statement that a dream is born from an idea-a simple idea conceived in the mind?

Back in the 19th century two brothers had an idea which eventually became their passionate and consuming dream. Their relentless pursuit of that dream was rewarded with an accomplishment that changed world travel.

On Friday December 17, 1903 at 10:35 AM, the Wright brothers (Wilbur and Orville) achieved their dream. They flew "the world's first power-driven, heavier-than-air machine in which man made free, controlled, and sustained flight." This memorable feat took place at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina on a cold windy morning.

The dream started with an idea that was planted in their minds by a toy given to them by their father. In the words of the boys, "Late in the autumn of 1878, our father came into the house one evening with some object partly concealed in his hands, and before we could see what it was, he tossed it into the air. Instead of falling to the floor, as we expected, it flew across the room till it struck the ceiling, where it fluttered awhile, and finally sank to the floor." This simple toy made of bamboo, cork and stretched rubber bands, fascinated the Wright brothers and sparked their lifelong interest in human flight.

The Wright brothers were great thinkers. They enjoyed learning new things. Initially, they recycled broken parts, built a printing press and opened their own printing office. Their interest moved to bicycles and in 1893, they opened the Wright Cycle Company where they sold and repaired bicycles. But Wilbur (the older brother) had his mind set on something more exciting. He decided to seriously pursue flying.

The brothers spent many hours researching, testing their machines and making improvements after unsuccessful attempts at human flight. What started out as a hobby soon became a passion. With determination and patience they realized their dream in 1903.

The next time you hear or see an airplane or travel on one, remember where it all started. A simply idea conceived in the minds of two young men who did not finish high school. Believe it or not, they did not have a University degree in Aeronautical Engineering, Mathematics, Physics or any other subject. They were not scientists in the true sense of the word. In fact, many of their peers who did not witness their accomplishment, had trouble believing that two bicycle mechanics from Dayton, Ohio did what they claimed.

What idea or ideas are YOU working on? Have you said you can't do this or that because you are not a scientist? Have you limited yourself by saying you are not smart enough? Or have you joined the majority in saying that everything has already been invented or discovered?

Since the introduction of the first generation of personal computers in 1981, we are able to do many things more efficiently. With a super computer between your ears and the personal computer at your finger tips, your dream can be achieved. First, give birth to that dream with an idea. A simply idea that ANYONE of us can conceive!


You Can Start To Win At Any Time
To solve any problem or to reach your goal, you don't need to know all the answers in advance. But you must have a clear idea of the problem or the goal you want to reach.

All you have to do is know where you're going. The answers will come to you of their own accord. Don't procrastinate when faced with a big difficult problem, break the problem into parts, and handle one part at a time.

If you can get up the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed. It's the job you never start that takes the longest to finish. Don't worry about what lies dimly at a distance, but do what lies clearly ahead.

Your biggest opportunity is where you are right now. Once you begin you're half done. when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody You want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Self Awareness and the Effective Leader

Self Awareness and the Effective Leader

Although it is probably one of the least discussed leadership competencies, self-awareness is possibly one of the most valuable. Self-awareness is being conscious of what you're good at while acknowledging what you still have yet to learn. This includes admitting when you don't have the answer and owning up to mistakes.


In our highly competitive culture, this can seem counterintuitive. In fact, many of us operate on the belief that we must appear as though we know everything all the time or else people will question our abilities, diminishing our effectiveness as leaders.


If you're honest with yourself, you'll admit that really the opposite is true. Because whether you acknowledge your weaknesses or not, everyone still sees them. So rather than conceal them, the person who tries to hide weaknesses actually highlights them, creating the perception of a lack of integrity and self-awareness.



The Benefits of Self-awareness

It's easy to see how pretending to know everything when you don't can create situations that can be problematic for your entire organization. On the other hand, when you take responsibility for what you don't know, you benefit both yourself and your organization.


On an interpersonal level, self-awareness of your strengths and weaknesses can net you the trust of others and increase your credibility -- both of which will increase your leadership effectiveness.


On an organizational level, the benefits are even greater. When you acknowledge what you have yet to learn, you're modeling that in your organization it's okay to admit you don't have all the answers, to make mistakes and most importantly, to ask for help. These are all characteristics of an organization that is constantly learning and springboards to innovation and agility -- two hallmarks of high performing organizations.



Know When Strength Might Be Played Out
Most likely, your strengths are what got you to this point in your career. As your role in your organization changes, you must be careful not to overplay a former strength to the point that it actually becomes a weakness.


For example, let's say you're great with detail and have done good things for your organization as an individual contributor and get rewarded with a management role. Continuing to delve in the details once you're responsible for projects and people will cause you to lose ground with 1) your reports, who will feel unnecessary; and 2) your superiors, who may rethink your readiness for managerial responsibility.


Acknowledging the need to become better at anything is only the beginning, and it's often the most difficult step in the whole process. In many cases, individuals successfully come to the realization that something's not working but have no clue how to change it into something that works.


This difficulty to see in yourself what others see so easily is what makes the path to self-awareness so challenging. One way to get started is by soliciting and listening to feedback from those who work with you.



Solicit Feedback
There are several ways you can get feedback about your work performance. Formally, you can get it through 360 multi-rater assessments. In a 360, peers, superiors and reports anonymously provide feedback on all aspects of your behavior.


Informally, you can make time once a day to reflect on the day's events, e.g. how people reacted to you, how fluidly you were able to work with or manage others, etc. To do this effectively on your own requires a high degree of emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence, or EQ as it's often called, is defined as awareness of your own and others' emotions, and how they are impacted by situations. Some people are simply born with a high EQ but with diligent introspection it can be cultivated to a degree in everyone.


If you fall into the latter category, another more practical method that falls somewhere in between the formality of a 360 and the informality of quiet daily reflection is to get in the habit of doing regular post-mortems on every project in which you are involved. In order to do this effectively however, you must learn to do two things: ask good questions, and listen without justifying or defending your actions.



Ask Good Questions
The skill of asking good questions can be invaluable to you and your organization. When the question is about your own performance however, it can be harder to be objective about negative feedback. When you show that you are equally open to all types of feedback, you demonstrate self-awareness and the willingness to learn.


Plus, asking questions models a solid, transparent approach to problem-solving and decision-making that benefits everyone in an organization. But perhaps most importantly, it models that it's okay not to know everything, which encourages everyone that it's okay to be constantly learning.


By modeling habits of good self-awareness you help to create a more self-aware organization. An organization that is self-aware is open to learning and better equipped to adjust quickly to changes as the marketplace dictates. This ability is the defining characteristic of a learning organization and possibly the most compelling reason all managers at all levels should include self-awareness in their development goals.



Listen without Justifying
Once you've solicited feedback it's crucial that you listen without justifying your actions or people will stop giving you feedback. Moreover, when you are busy defending your actions, you miss what the person is trying to tell you.


If on the other hand you listen and accept feedback without defending yourself, you're more likely to hear what you need to hear, increasing your credibility with the person giving you feedback and creating a trust bond that will enable them to continue providing useful feedback in the future.



So how self-aware are you?
No doubt most of us would answer with confidence that we are pretty darn self-aware. Before you take self-awareness off your development radar screen, consider this: According to research* on management styles, you're more likely to be unaware of your behavior and how it impacts others if normally tend to operate at the extremes.


For example, at one extreme are the "Originators." Originators tend to be quick decision-makers who aren't afraid of confrontation or taking risks. On the other end of the spectrum you'll find "Conservers." Conservers are much more rule-bound and conflict- and change-averse. Most people fall somewhere in between these two extremes and are aptly labeled as "Pragmatists." Pragmatists don't either seek out or avoid confrontation. More practical and flexible, they tend to focus on issues in the order in which they need to be resolved.


So if you identify more with the descriptions of the Originator or Conserver, this may be an indicator that you are not as self-aware as you think you are. No matter where you fall on the spectrum of management styles, the benefits of greater self-awareness should be incentive enough to consistently seek (and listen to) as much feedback as possible on your performance at work.



Conclusion
When you pretend to know it all and never admit mistakes, you model behavior that can have negative consequences for yourself and your entire organization. Conversely, when you are self-aware enough to openly admit missteps and concede that you still have plenty to learn, you turn mistakes are learning opportunities and give people permission to be collaborative without fear of appearing unqualified.


To begin to increase your self-awareness, seek feedback on your performance from others by asking good questions and listening without justifying or defending your actions. Remember, organizations benefit far more from leaders who take responsibility for what they don't know than from leaders who pretend to know it all.

Effective Ways To Get Out of a Negative Mindset

It is too easy to get into a negative mindset which invariably leads to unhappiness and depression. To avoid being overwhelmed by negativity we need to make a conscious effort to avoid the experience. When life seems like a perpetual dark tunnel these are some suggestions to change your outlook on life.

don't Cherish Destructive Thoughts.

Often we Don't realise how much we subconsciously cherish negative thoughts. It may seem counter intuitive, but often a negative frame of mind occurs because we won't let go of the negative thoughts and ideas. Sometimes the mind clings on to these thoughts with a feeling of self pity or injured pride. We Don't like the negative frame of mind, but at the same time are we consciously trying to overcome it? The problem is that if the negative thoughts go round and round in our mind they can become powerful and we lose a sense of perspective. Just make a conscious decision to ignore the negative flow of thoughts and sentiments and be persistent in these attempts.



Do You want to be Happy or Miserable?

We should feel a negative mindset is a choice. If we feel a victim to our own emotions and thoughts, nobody else will be able to help us. We should feel that by holding on to a negative frame of mind, we are inevitably choosing to be unhappy; each negative is a conscious decision to be miserable. If we really value the importance of our own inner peace and happiness, we will aspire to cultivate this through good, uplifting thoughts. Next time you feel the onset of a depressed state of mind, just ask yourself the question: Do I want to be happy or Miserable?



Spend Time With Positive People
The best antidote to negativity is simply to spend time doing positive, uplifting activities. Sometimes if we analyse and examine our own negativity it does nothing to reduce it. By engaging in useful fun activities, we forget about the reasons for our negativity; this is often the most powerful way to overcome a depressed state of mind.



Don't Accept Negativity from Other People

We live in a world where there are no shortage of pessimists, critics and doomongers. There will always be people who can find the negative in life; but, there is no reason why we have to ascribe to their world view. For example, often in an office environment there is a negative attitude to the workplace, but, even if there are faults and limitations we don't have to allow them to make us a negative person.



Let Go of Thoughts

If you can learn to control your thoughts, you can control the experience and emotions of life. The best antidote to negativity is learning the art of meditation. Meditation is more than just relaxation; it is a change in consciousness. We move from the limited perspective of our mind and discover an inner source of happiness.



Live in the Heart

The nature of the mind is to be suspicious and critical. If someone does 99 good things and 1 bad thing, the mind will invariably remember the bad thing. If we allow ourselves to be drawn into highlighting the mistakes of others we will invite a negative mindset. However, if we live in the heart we are not drawn to the faults of others (even if they are insignificant). It is in the heart that we can have a true sense of oneness with others, their faults seem insignificance and we can feel a sense of identity with the achievements of others.



Don't Sit Around Doing Nothing

The worst thing for a negative frame of mind is to mope around feeling sorry for ourselves. Ruminating on our bad luck / worries / fears will not diminish them in any way. Exercise can be a powerful way to bring about a new consciousness. Negativity is often associated with boredom and lack of purpose. Stop endlessly checking emails and surfing web, look for something good to do.



Force Yourself to Think of 3 Positive Thoughts.

If you are feeling really miserable and have a low sense of self esteem, try thinking of 3 good things that you have done. At time our own mind can be our worst enemy and very self critical. It is important not to lose a sense of balance; for the various bad things we have done, we have also done some good things.



Don't Think Anything You Wouldn't Say in Front of People

We often think things we would never say in front of people. If you are annoyed, disappointed with someone else, imagine what you would say to them in person. Sometimes when we are with people we are forced to behave; even if we are not particularly sincere the effort to avoid negativity can help us to overcome our bad mood

16 Things I Wish They Had Taught Me in School

I don't think about the past or regret things much these days.
But sometimes I wish that I had known some of things I have learned over the last few years a bit earlier. That perhaps there had been a self-improvement class in school. And in some ways there probably was.
Because some of these 16 things in this article a teacher probably spoke about in class. But I forgot about them or didn't pay attention.
Some of it would probably not have stuck in my mind anyway. Or just been too far outside my reality at the time for me to accept and use.
So here are 16 things I wish they had taught me in school (or I just would like to have known about earlier).



1. The 80/20 rule.
This is one of the best ways to make better use of your time. The 80/20 rule - also known as The Pareto Principle - basically says that 80 percent of the value you will receive will come from 20 percent of your activities.
So a lot of what you do is probably not as useful or even necessary to do as you may think.
You can just drop - or vastly decrease the time you spend on - a whole bunch of things.
And if you do that you will have more time and energy to spend on those things that really brings your value, happiness, fulfillment and so on.



2. Parkinson's Law.
You can do things quicker than you think. This law says that a task will expand in time and seeming complexity depending on the time you set aside for it. For instance, if you say to yourself that you'll come up with a solution within a week then the problem will seem to grow more difficult and you'll spend more and more time trying to come up with a solution.
So focus your time on finding solutions. Then just give yourself an hour (instead of the whole day) or the day (instead of the whole week) to solve the problem. This will force your mind to focus on solutions and action.
The result may not be exactly as perfect as if you had spent a week on the task, but as mentioned in the previous point, 80 percent of the value will come from 20 percent of the activities anyway. Or you may wind up with a better result because you haven't overcomplicated or overpolished things. This will help you to get things done faster, to improve your ability to focus and give you more free time where you can totally focus on what's in front of you instead of having some looming task creating stress in the back of your mind.



3. Batching.
Boring or routine tasks can create a lot of procrastination and low-level anxiety. One good way to get these things done quickly is to batch them. This means that you do them all in row. You will be able to do them quicker because there is less "start-up time" compared to if you spread them out. And when you are batching you become fully engaged in the tasks and more focused.
A batch of things to do in an hour today may look like this: Clean your desk / answer today's emails / do the dishes / make three calls / write a grocery shopping list for tomorrow.



4. First, give value. Then, get value. Not the other way around.
This is a bit of a counter-intuitive thing. There is often an idea that someone should give us something or do something for us before we give back. The problem is just that a lot of people think that way. And so far less than possible is given either way.
If you want to increase the value you receive (money, love, kindness, opportunities etc.) you have to increase the value you give. Because over time you pretty much get what you give. It would perhaps be nice to get something for nothing. But that seldom happens.



5. Be proactive. Not reactive.
This one ties into the last point. If everyone is reactive then very little will get done. You could sit and wait and hope for someone else to do something. And that happens pretty often, but it can take a lot of time before it happens.
A more useful and beneficial way is to be proactive, to simply be the one to take the first practical action and get the ball rolling. This not only saves you a lot of waiting, but is also more pleasurable since you feel like you have the power over your life. Instead of feeling like you are run by a bunch of random outside forces.



6. Mistakes and failures are good.
When you are young you just try things and fail until you learn. As you grow a bit older, you learn from - for example - school to not make mistakes. And you try less and less things.
This may cause you to stop being proactive and to fall into a habit of being reactive, of waiting for someone else to do something. I mean, what if you actually tried something and failed? Perhaps people would laugh at you?
Perhaps they would. But when you experience that you soon realize that it is seldom the end of the world. And a lot of the time people don't care that much. They have their own challenges and lives to worry about.
And success in life often comes from not giving up despite mistakes and failure. It comes from being persistent.
When you first learn to ride your bike you may fall over and over. Bruise a knee and cry a bit. But you get up, brush yourself off and get on the saddle again. And eventually you learn how to ride a bike. If you can just reconnect to your 5 year old self and do things that way - instead of giving up after a try/failure or two as grown-ups often do - you would probably experience a lot more interesting things, learn valuable lessons and have quite a bit more success.



7. Don't beat yourself up.
Why do people give up after just few mistakes or failures? Well, I think one big reason is because they beat themselves up way too much. But it's a kinda pointless habit. It only creates additional and unnecessary pain inside you and wastes your precious time. It's best to try to drop this habit as much as you can.



8. Assume rapport.
Meeting new people is fun. But it can also induce nervousness. We all want to make a good first impression and not get stuck in an awkward conversation.
The best way to do this that I have found so far is to assume rapport. This means that you simply pretend that you are meeting one of your best friends. Then you start the interaction in that frame of mind instead of the nervous one.
This works surprisingly well. You can read more about it in How to Have Less Awkward Conversations: Assuming Rapport.



9. Use your reticular activation system to your advantage.
I learned about the organs and the inner workings of the body in class but nobody told me about the reticular activation system. And that's a shame, because this is one of the most powerful things you can learn about. What this focus system, this R.A.S, in your mind does is to allow you to see in your surroundings what you focus your thoughts on. It pretty much always helps you to find what you are looking for.
So you really need to focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. And keep that focus steady.
Setting goals and reviewing them frequently is one way to keep your focus on what's important and to help you take action that will move your closer to toward where you want to go. Another way is just to use external reminders such as pieces of paper where you can, for instance, write down a few things from this post like "Give value" or "Assume rapport". And then you can put those pieces of paper on your fridge, bathroom mirror etc.



10. Your attitude changes your reality.
We have all heard that you should keep a positive attitude or perhaps that "you need to change your attitude!". That is a nice piece of advice I suppose, but without any more reasons to do it is very easy to just brush such suggestions off and continue using your old attitude.
But the thing that I've discovered the last few years is that if you change your attitude, you actually change your reality. When you for instance use a positive attitude instead of a negative one you start to see things and viewpoints that were invisible to you before. You may think to yourself "why haven't I thought about things this way before?".
When you change your attitude you change what you focus on. And all things in your world can now be seen in a different light.
This is of course very similar to the previous tip but I wanted to give this one some space. Because changing your attitude can create an insane change in your world. It might not look like it if you just think about it though. Pessimism might seem like realism. But that is mostly because your R.A.S is tuned into seeing all the negative things you want to see. And that makes you "right" a lot of the time. And perhaps that is what you want. On the other hand, there are more fun things than being right all the time.
If you try changing your attitude for real - instead of analysing such a concept in your mind - you'll be surprised.
You may want to read more about this topic in Take the Positivity Challenge!



11. Gratitude is a simple way to make yourself feel happy.
Sure, I was probably told that I should be grateful. Perhaps because it was the right thing to do or just something I should do. But if someone had said that feeling grateful about things for minute or two is a great way to turn a negative mood into a happy one I would probably have practised gratitude more. It is also a good tool for keeping your attitude up and focusing on the right things. And to make other people happy. Which tends to make you even happier, since emotions are contagious.



12. Don't compare yourself to others.
The ego wants to compare. It wants to find reasons for you to feel good about yourself ("I've got a new bike!"). But by doing that it also becomes very hard to not compare yourself to others who have more than you ("Oh no, Bill has bought an even nicer bike!"). And so you don't feel so good about yourself once again. If you compare yourself to others you let the world around control how you feel about yourself. It always becomes a rollercoaster of emotions.
A more useful way is to compare yourself to yourself. To look at how far you have come, what you have accomplished and how you have grown. It may not sound like that much fun but in the long run it brings a lot more inner stillness, personal power and positive feelings.



13. 80-90% of what you fear will happen never really come into reality.
This is a big one. Most things you fear will happen never happen. They are just monsters in your own mind. And if they happen then they will most often not be as painful or bad as you expected. Worrying is most often just a waste of time.
This is of course easy to say. But if you remind yourself of how little of what you feared throughout your life that has actually happened you can start to release more and more of that worry from your thoughts.



14. Don't take things too seriously.
It's very easy to get wrapped up in things. But most of the things you worry about never come into reality. And what may seem like a big problem right now you may not even remember in three years.
Taking yourself, your thoughts and your emotions too seriously often just seems to lead to more unnecessary suffering. So relax a little more and lighten up a bit. It can do wonders for your mood and as an extension of that; your life.



15. Write everything down.
If your memory is anything like mine then it's like a leaking bucket. Many of your good or great ideas may be lost forever if you don't make a habit of writing things down. This is also a good way to keep your focus on what you want. Read more about it in Why You Should Write Things Down.



16. There are opportunities in just about every experience.
In pretty much any experience there are always things that you can learn from it and things within the experience that can help you to grow. Negative experiences, mistakes and failure can sometimes be even better than a success because it teaches you something totally new, something that another success could never teach you.
Whenever you have a "negative experience" ask yourself: where is the opportunity in this? What is good about this situation? One negative experience can - with time - help you create many very positive experiences.
What do you wish someone had told you in school or you had just learned earlier in life?

Pattinathar

Pattinathar

Tamil Nadu has a lot of poets, siddhars, sages and many wise men who have left behind their experiences as the great wealth that future generations to learn and follow. However, Pattinathar is unique to list of great people that Tamil has as its pride. It would be surprising that Pattinathar was a tycoon who has business all over the world. He was born in an affluent family and yet he turned to be a Sanyasi. Thiruvenkadar, was his name when he became a Sanyasi. This post and the subsequent posts narrate the life of Pattinathar and the incidents that lead him to become a Sanyasi. Pattinathar has given us his experience and wisdom in the form of songs that we will see in these posts. His works include Koyinaan Manimaalai, Thirukazhumala Mummanikkovai, Thiruvidai Marudhur Mummanikkovai, Thiruvegambamudaiya r Thiruvandhaadhi, Thiruvottriyur Orupa Orupadhu. Now let us see how a legendary tycoon of Kaveripoompattinam (Poompuhar) turned into Sanyasi.

Pattinathar, also called Pattinathu Chetty, was born in an affluent tycoon family. His parents were Sivanesan Chettiar and Gnanakalai Aachi. They were so affluent, that in those days it was a customary that kings of the various dynasties and empires who rose to the throne will be crowned by the wealthiest in the country. And for three generations or more, Pattinathar's ancestors have crowned the kings in the Chera, Chola, Pandya and the Pallava Kingdoms. That would give us an understanding of how wealthy their family should have been. They had a lot of ships that sailed across to various countries in the globe for trade purposes. Pattinathar was born and he was named Swetharanyan. He had an elder sister.

Swetharanyan grew up as kid with lots of love, affection and lenience. He spent most of his time playing and studies was a far distant thing to him. Pattinathar's father was worried that his son does not study well, but his mother convinced him that they had wealth that would feed more than 10 generations, so why worry about their son not studying. A few years later, Pattinathar's father died and his mother had to take care of business. Though she was able to manage that, her brother - Pattinathar's maternal uncle - gave her a helping hand and looked after the business.

Swetharanyan, born in the lineage of traders, instinctively had the skills for trade. He picked up the nuances quickly and wanted to venture into the seas to get more hands-on experience about trade across the oceans. He became well-versed and later he was married to a girl named Sivakalai at the age of 16. In those days, marrying at a young age was practised. Over the years, he grew to be a man who can handle businesses himself and became the wealthiest trader in Kaveripoompattinam. Thereafter he was referred to as Pattinathu Chetty or Pattinathar.

For a long time, the couple did not have a child as the heir to their wealth. They went to a lot of temples but still God did not bles them with a child. They were worried, and Pattinathar's mother even suggested that he married another girl. In those days, men used to have more than one wife. However, People in those days had a very high respect for their mothers, that they would not rebuke anything against their mother's words, Pattinathar was not in a position to show his refusal to his mother's suggestion, however he expressed clearly his unwillingness and made it clear that he was not willing to think of any other girl as his wife. His mother, honoured his wish and did not talk about that later.

Pattinathar had a dream one night. In the dream, he saw an elderly couple near Thiruvidai Marudhur, who had a young infant and were worried as they were not able to feed for themselves, and feeding and bringing up that infant was worrying them more. Pattinathar heard a divine voice asking him to travel to Thiruvidai Marudhur. He woke up from his dream and the next day Pattinathar and Sivakalai headed to Thiruvidai Marudhur. And when he reached Thiruvidai Marudhur, he saw the same elderly couple that he saw his in dreams. He enquired about them, and they said that they were poor and the child was born at a very later age, and now they are weak to feed for themselves. So they both decided to go and meet Pattinathu Chetty and ask him to adopt the child for which, the elderly couple told, that Pattinathar would give them gold equal to the weight of the infant with which they could manage the rest of their life. Pattinathar and Sivakalai eyes were in tears and they thought that Lord Shiva and Parvathi themselves came as the elderly couple and blessed them with the child.

Then Pattinathar and Sivakalai, took the elderly couple to Kaveripoompattinam and said that they will adopt the child and gave the elderly couple a good amount of wealth for them to survive through their age. Then they planned for the adoption ceremony of the child. Now, Pattinathar's sister, who thought that the wealth of Pattinathar will automatically be for her family as Pattinathar had no heir, had her dreams shattered by the adoption of this child. She argued and quarrelled with his brother. But Pattinathar made a firm decision that he is going to adopt that child and that child will be his heir. The adoption ceremony went very well in all its grandeur and they name the baby boy - Marudhavanan. They considered Marudhavanan as their own child and showed him a great love and affection.

Pattinathar is one of the greatest saints that Tamilnadu has ever given birth to.

His Jeeva samadhi is situated in Thiruvottiyur and visiting his samadhi with pure devotion will lead to Salvation.

PATTINATHAR (DEATH AND BIRTH)

The 4 Wives

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives

a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament

Temple Worship

TEMPLE WORSHIP

Why go to the temple?
Saivites are generally encouraged to go to the temple everyday. Those who can’t manage daily temple worship are recommended to go to the temple at least on Tuesdays and Fridays. What agamic thought underpins this recommendation, especially in this fast-paced world? Many people believe that you don’t have to go anywhere because God resides in each one of us. This is completely true. As Manickavasagar’s Sivapuranam states, God is not absent from our consciousness even for the duration of the blink of an eye( imaipozhuthum en nenjil neengaathaan). What is equally true, however, is that the trivial facts of life change. We live in a very different world today than the world in which Manickavasagar or Appar lived. This is the nature of maya which is the name we Hindus give to all things which are subject to change. Trivial facts change but Truth or God or Brahman as the Upanishads refer to Him, remains eternally true. The circumstances of life have changed and will continue to change but the goal of life remains, and will remain, ever the same. The journey of the atma today, as in the days of Manickavasagar, is still to find God. Hindus believe the temple plays a very important role in achieving this goal.

One name for temple in Tamil is aalayam, the place where the atma (aa) becomes attuned (layam) to God
, becomes one with Him and therefore becomes liberated from the cycle of birth (achieves mukhti). The
discipline of going to the temple, the component parts of the temple and what they constantly remind us of, and the rituals and prayers we engage in while there, are all specifically designed by the ancient rishis who set up these rituals to scaffold our efforts to reach God. Contrary to current beliefs, these rituals, perhaps even more than in previous eras, are critically important today. Hindus believe that we are coming towards the end of a 5-thousand year cycle of human journeying. It is believed that the human spirit is now spiritually bankrupt and therefore is unable to focus. It is unable to achieve the concentration of effort or sustain the imaginative vision of a formless God. Temple worship, it is believed, is God’s grace providing the props – the images and rituals – that will serve as the crutches that this lame modern soul requires to totter towards its goal.

What must you take to the temple?

Bhava is an important concept in Bakhti. It relates to the attitude or “mood” or the spiritual climate prevailing in the mind of the devotee. It is a very important precondition for communicating with God. When you go to the temple, you must go carrying with you a number of thoughts. You are going to the house of the King of Kings (ko-vil = ko (King or emperor) + il (home or residence), the Lord of all universes. So you need to go there with the utmost humility, respect and awe. You are going to the home of your creator and provider of all you have. Therefore you need to go there in a spirit of thankfulness. Modern communication theory tells us the person communicating and the person he is communicating with must be on the same wavelength for communication to take place. You are going to the temple to meet God, to enable your soul to become attuned to Him. Therefore you need to take with you a soul with the qualities which are God’s. God is called nimalan ( without malas or impurities) You need to be pure. He is karunaakaran. You need to carry with you a soul filled with love and compassion for all.

All that you have and are belongs to God as your creator and the Lord of the universe. There is nothing that you can give Him except your love:
You can carry this love for Him in the form of the things used in Hindu worship :
(1) loose flowers for you or the priest to lay at His Feet;
(2) garlands that you bought or, better still, lovingly strung together yourself
(3) camphor or katpooram (that burns to give light by destroying itself and which leaves no trace of itself when it has burnt out) – to remind yourself to live in service to others and to remember that the purpose of life is to merge without a trace of self in the Self that is God.
(4) fruit that you can offer to God and then either take it home afterwards or share with others in the temple as prasada.

You can also carry your love of God in offering your physical services to the temple. You can help to clean the temple. You can help to carry the image of the deity to place Him in the ratham or chariot on days when He is taken out. These acts help you to put yourself in perspective. In comparison to God, you are nothing. Your titles and your money, what are they in comparison to the wealth of God?

If you have money or learning, you can offer these to God. The money you donate to the temple can be used to conduct services that benefit the devotees and what you do for the devotees, you do for God. Adiyaarkum adiyehn ( the slave of the slaves of God) is an attitude that many Hindu saints have held to be important and have demonstrated in their own lives. When people share their knowledge with others and help to bring them closer to God, this too is a form of service to God through service to His creation.

What do you do before you arrive at the temple?

Prepare a pure you to meet God who is pure: have a bath and wear clean clothes.

What do you do at the temple?

Love, respect, humility etc are common to all mankind but different cultural groups express them in different ways. Every religion is embedded within a culture or civilization and so the way love, respect etc are expressed within a religion are dictated by the way these feelings are expressed in the host culture. The host culture of Hinduism is Indian culture. The way love, respect, humility etc are expressed in Hindu temple worship therefore are the ways Indians express these feelings in their everyday life.

When you arrive at the temple

Remove your footwear and wash your feet. Sprinkle some water on your head. [We always remove our footwear when we visit people because we don’t want to bring in the dust of the street into their home and also because it traditional Indian society it was considered disrespectful to keep your shoes on in the presence of someone you respect].
Raise your hands above your head and worship the rajagopuram, which standing tall, constantly reminds the devotee that God is always there for him.
As you enter the temple, touch the entrance respectfully with both your hands and bring your hands to your eyes. In temple architecture, the rajagopuram at the entrance to the temple denotes God’s Feet. [It is the custom is Indian culture for lesser beings to fall at the feet of greater beings to show their humility and to receive blessings].

Once you are in the temple

Prostrate before the kodi maram or flag staff and it symbolizes God and His sovereignty. Near the kodi maram is the balipeedam ( the place of sacrifice) and the vahana ( God’s vehicle). While you prostrate, you need to (a) acknowledge God’s sovereignty over your life (b) pledge saranaagathi or total surrender to God and express your wish to place all your life, especially your distracting thoughts at the balipeedam; and (c) ask for His grace to increase your sense of His presence in you
(His real vahanam)
Go round the veethi or courtyard of the temple, holding yourself in a prayerful posture and constantly uttering His name or some mantra(s). Walk very slowly. The purpose of this circumambulation or going round the temple is to become more and more God-centred and less and less distracted by the world and what you see as its demands on you.
Don’t circumambulate when the communal prayers are going on. Keep your attention solely on the prayers. Constantly pray for His presence in your life and in your being. Many of us use this time to plead for help : “Lord help my husband to get his promotion”, “ Lord, make my children pass all their exams” etc. This is not wrong. It is just wasteful. If God who is Vigneswaran ( Lord of obstacles) is in your life, won’t all obstacles disappear like Kaasiba Munivar says in the “Kaariya Sithi Maalai”: idarhal muzhuvathum eri veezhum panchena maayum ( all obstacles will disappear, like the cotton touched by flame)? If Murugan, the Devasenapathi ( the leader of the troops) is in your camp, can you lose any battle in your life? If Parasakti ( the Highest Power) is the source of your strength, can you ever weaken or be destroyed however strong the evil that confronts you? If Krishna is the driver of the chariot of your life, can you lose in the Mahabaratha which is the struggle between good and evil in your life and within your soul? If Sivan who is Love (Anbe Sivam) is the guiding light of your life, won’t He know what you need? Do you have to remind Him who is all knowledge to remember what you need?

After the pooja
· The priest and his assistants will bring the prasadam and deepam ( flame). Light is a very important symbol of God in Hinduism. When the flame is brought to you, touch is reverently and bring it to your eyes, all the while thinking that it is God’s warmth and light that you are taking to bless your life;
· The priest will also bring to you the vibuthi. This again is God’s blessing to you. Receive it reverently, placing your right hand over your left. After receiving the vibhuti transfer it to your left palm. Then, without dropping any on the ground, use the middle three fingers of the right hand to spread the vibhuti in three lines over your forehead in a left to right direction. These three lines denote the three malas( anava or egotism, kanmam or the propensities you exhibit in your character and actions as a result of the imprints[1] on your soul left by the accumulated actions of all previous births and maya or the concentration on the changeable aspects of life instead of on the eternal ). The vibuthi which is ash denotes the destruction of these three malas by the grace of God;
· In another tray, Kumkumum, santhanam or sandalwood paste and flowers are brought to you. The kunkumum and sandalwood paste are meant to be placed as a dot in the center of the forehead where Hindu belief states the third eye of each person is to be found. Take the kumkumum and santhanam and place them with the ring finger of your right hand on the center of your forehead between your two eyebrows. Ask God to open your third eye which sees inner spiritual truths that no physical eye can see.

Before you leave the temple

Don’t leave the temple as soon as the pooja is over.:
· If you didn’t circumambulate the temple before the pooja, you can do so now. Going round the temple at least three times is recommended. You could dedicate your mantras or prayers for the removal of the three malas: for the removal of the anava mala the first time; the removal of kanmum next and for the removal of maya during the final round.
· When you have finished active participation in all the different rituals, sit down and savour the sacred vibrations that participation in the pooja would have set up in you. Soak in the divine presence of God.
· After the meditative sitting, prostrate before the kodi maram again. Thank God for His grace and blessings before you go home.